Holiday review

I am terrible and I have been so busy with work and the holidays and so I won’t make any open promises. But I will try to blog while I can.

Anyways as you all know Christmas was a couple of days ago and this Christmas was a lot better than last Christmas. Last Christmas I had so many expectations and I ended up being let down. I was expecting presents and that’s it. That’s not what Christmas is about. It’s about being with family and people who make you happy, it’s about giving and it’s about Jesus. I spent the first half of Christmas with my dad and I participated in a play at church and I had such a good time. I spent the second half with my mom and it was also very nice. I love that I was able to give the people in my life presents because honestly the looks on their faces and the joy I felt in my heart was far greater than the feeling I would get if I just received gifts. I did get gifts this year and I was grateful for them all but giving just feels so much better.

 

This Christmas like many others I have noticed that there are so many ungrateful people. People would don’t see how lucky they are just to have a roof over their heads and food on their plates. I really don’t understand how you could be angry that you didn’t get the gifts you want so much that it ruins your whole day. And then there are those people who get so much but get mad about what they are getting. I DON’T UNDERSTAND! I was just happy to be in my hometown and to be alive. There are people living on the streets who don’t even have food or a place to lay their heads and you are complaining about not getting presents. It’s really sad.

Also it makes me so sad when people get depressed around the holidays because there are people who have passed that are not there. I understand it’s sad that they are not there but there are other people in your life and they are there. Try to look at what you have and who is around you and find happiness in that. Find happiness is absolutely every situation even though it is hard to at the time. I wish I could heal the hurt in people’s hearts but I can’t help everyone.

I am aware that Christmas is not the only holiday celebrated at this time of the year so whatever you celebrate I hope it was successful and I hope that you had a great time with friends and family. I just want everyone to keep in mind that this season is one to be grateful. Don’t get so caught up in the presents and enjoy the real reason for your holiday. Its short today but I just wanted to tell you all how I was feeling. Happy Holidays to all of you and remember to be happy.

Zaria 🙂

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What I have learned about college so far

As many of you may know I just finished my first semester of college and it isn’t always easy but it is so worth it. I finished the semester with 3 A’s and 2 B’s. Definitely could have been better but I’m not complaining too much. In the beginning of the semester I had no idea what I was doing, I just knew I didn’t want to be there. I cried for like the first 2 days straight and then for the next two weeks off and on. I was a mess. I didn’t leave my room unless I had to eat or go to class. I found myself only knowing four people and one of them was my roommate! Eventually, I got out of my funk and met some friends in my classes. I am doing fine now and I don’t lay in my bed and cry all day! But enough about that, I wanted to share with you guys what I’ve learned so far.

One big thing for me was friends. I didn’t know anyone there and I had no friends until the second month! I had this big idea that I was going to meet so many people my first week and establish my friend group! I was so wrong as I said before. The most important thing I learned from that was just do your own thing and friends will come. I learned to not be so pressed about making friends because everyone is also trying to figure out what they are doing. Also, I go to a pretty diverse school so there were plenty of people to choose from but I just wanted so sure. My dad and mom called me every day and their questions were:

“Did you make any friends?”

“Did you eat?”

“Did you leave the room?”

“Are you okay?”

I answered all except the last one truthfully because I didn’t want them to worry. I told them I was okay but I really wasn’t! I wanted to come home so bad! I now have a couple of friends and so it is not so bad! I am the type of person who really likes sitting in my room to chill but she makes me leave the room and actually participate in the world so that’s good.

Freshmen 15 is a real thing! If you don’t know what it is, it’s a supposed myth that people have that when you go to college that first year you will gain 15 pounds. I can attest to the fact that this is not a myth. Not everyone gains 15 pounds but those of us who sit on our butts and eat all day, like me, do. I really try to walk a little more and I say I’m going to work out but then I just don’t. We have a nice rec center and the town I go to college in has nice sidewalks but I would much rather catch up on sleep. Work out in college! And it is so easy to eat whatever you want or eat 2 packs of ramen but really don’t do that! It’s so bad for you. Not going to lie, I am guilty of eating absolutely anything I can get my hands on, but it’s so bad.

Another thing that I think is super self-explanatory is that you should study. Even if you don’t think you need to. Like you need to shut up and go study. Don’t study so much that you make yourself crazy but definitely study. I had to learn this the hard way. I was taking a sociology class and the first test was rolling around and I thought I will be fine; the information is common sense. I love that I was so wrong because I think I know everything sometimes. I got a 73 on the first test and that was a good little wake up call. I ended the semester with an A but what was I thinking?? And another thing is start studying early, because nine times out of ten the professor has already given you the information in the beginning of the semester. It won’t hurt to start early, trust me!

Okay so a lot of people think you can just not go to class for a couple days out of the semester and while I can agree that that everyone needs mental health days, you should always go to class. This semester I went to every class every day with an exception of the days I didn’t hear my alarm ring. (like 2 classes) But at the school I go to the attendance is a part of the grade. Even if it wasn’t I would go. It’s so important to go to class. Like you don’t want to miss anything because in high school it will be fine but in college you missed about a week of high school classes. Maybe more.

No one cares what you’re wearing. Like not as much as in high school. You can go to class with whatever on and everyone understands because we all know that maybe they were up late and they are just tired. I never really care what people say about my clothes but I like that in college they really don’t care.

So overall I had a good first semester and I’m really proud of myself. I can only go up from here and I have every intention to.

That is all for now. Remember to be happy.

Zaria 🙂

About being a woman

I have noticed so many things lately in the news and media about women and how we are treated and looked at in this society. This isn’t true for every guy but there are some guys who believe women are only pieces of meat that belong in the kitchen. This is not true at all. I really hate that we are perceived in that way. I am so much more than a piece of meat and a housewife. I wanted to share with you all a few of the things I have noticed about being a woman.

I guess I will start out with the “locker room banter”. This has been the new thing that excuses guys from talking about women in a demeaning way. I’m definitely not going for it. I do not think this excuses them from being nasty. Donald Trump said “grab them by the p—y”. He was talking about women, saying they let you do whatever you want. I would never want a guy to think that grabbing me anywhere is okay just because they want to. I have little cousins and god sisters who will grow up in a world where men think it’s okay to do whatever they want to them, without consent. I don’t think that is okay. Not every guy is like that, I know, but the fact that the future president of the United States says that it is okay is really troubling to me.

Bossy. Angry. Mean. Hard. Too smart for a girl. I’ve been called all these things and just because I’m a girl does that mean that I am not allowed to be intelligent and hard and know what I want for myself? I don’t think so, but this society seems to think that just because I’m a girl I need to “sit pretty” and let the world happen around me. I am hard and I know that I have to be hard in order for people to take me seriously and it shouldn’t be this way. And heck yeah I’m bossy, I know what I want and I will not settle for less. I am also smart and I’m not too smart for a girl, I’m just smart. I have no problem saying this because not many people can. In high school, most of my classes were on-level classes but I did have the occasional honors or advanced placement class that consisted of mostly white people. The guys in the classes would often get angry because they knew just as well as I did that I was smarter than them. In the beginning, this was a struggle for me because I didn’t necessarily like for people to not like me. I thought that I should try to tone it down and “sit pretty” like they wanted me to. This caused me to lack in participation in class and leave those kind of classes all together. My grades were still good I just didn’t let anyone know. Even in my on-level classes I had this problem. I remember distinctly, my junior year of high school in my literature class. The teacher would assign us vocabulary words and at the end of the week we would have a competition of who knew the words better, the guys or the girls. And of course, the girls won every week. I knew every definition and I was spitting them out faster than the guys could think about the word. Their jealousy and anger was made very clear in the remarks and gestures. I thought it was really funny! But I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t be afraid to be. Be bossy, be smart, be angry and be hard. You have every right to be absolutely anything you want to be! People are going to judge you anyways so you might as well be what you want to be. Another thing I have been told that I should be is ‘sexy’. I don’t have to be cute or pretty or sexy or anything for you. I am cute and pretty and sexy for myself. I do things for myself and I don’t need anyone’s input of what I should be.

On that note, I think I will touch on one last thing. That being a woman is hard. Society expects so much from you and you have to be this and you have to be that and I’m sick and tired of it. While it is hard it is so rewarding; it’s not all bad. There are so many good things about being a woman. I can be countless things; beautiful and smart and gentle and strong all at the same time. I love it. Women are so powerful! Women bring life into this world and do so in the most graceful way. All in all, I am immensely grateful to be a woman. I was on YouTube of course and watched this video of a spoken word poem by a girl who went to my high school. It’s called Lady Like and her name is Meghan Hughes. If you have any free time, go watch it. It’s really good and was my inspiration for this blog post. And as always, remember to be happy.

Zaria 🙂

jeez! I’m slacking

Okay so I know I’ve been gone for a while but school has been sooooo stressful and I keep getting sick. I am still blogging and I still have plenty of ideas. This next week is finals week and I am currently working on studying 300+ flashcards so bear with me. I hope you all had a fantastic Thanksgiving! I will be back blogging regularly on December 12th! I love you all and remember to be happy.

Zaria 🙂