To my nana: Happy Birthday

This is to you, because ten years is a long time without you.

Today is your birthday and I don’t want to be sad but both you and I know that is hard for me. You would have 91 today and I would give absolutely anything in this world to hear your voice again. I don’t even remember what it sounds like. I don’t remember a lot of things but I do remember how much you loved me. If I knew I was only going to have eight years with you then I would have cherished them so much more, but I was young. I don’t have any pictures with you, no videos, just memories and even those fail me at times.

The closest thing I have is my mom. I see you through her every day. When she sings, when she talks, everything and I am so grateful for that. I hope you are somewhere in heaven looking down on me proudly. I hope I haven’t failed you. I am not perfect but I do try my best. I wish you could see how far I have come and how much I have accomplished. I wish I could hold your hand and complain about you always holding tissues. I wish I could lay in your crumb filled bed and watch soap operas all day. I didn’t ever think these small things would be so big in ten years.

The one thing I always remember you saying is “love each other”. Whether that was my family or friends you always told me to love and I do just that. I every aspect of my life, I love. I will forever miss running down the street from you while you ran after me with a glass of water and your cane. I want you to know that a big part of who I am is because of you. A lot of things have changed since you have been gone but one thing remains and that is my love for you. I love you so much and I miss you more than you could know and I know that one day we will meet again. I thank God every day that he chose me to be your granddaughter. For that, I am forever grateful. Sleep peacefully Annie Ruth.

Happy Birthday!

Zaria 🙂

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